Sunday 30 Sep 2018
Had a good drink up on Friday night. Really good long drink up, arriving home about 2am at the end of a £60 Uber ride. Still, drinks had been free all night. It had been a retirement do, but celebrating not only the long and distinguished City career of the good friend retiring, but also the end of an era of jobs for life, final salary pensions, corporate hospitality and lunchtime drinking. Dozens of old friends there, mingling with current colleagues and family of the great man.
Then talking of the end of good things, I figured that approaching 50, with teenaged children and subtly but progressively poorer health, it’s no longer appropriate to come home at 2am with large gaps in my memory. Whilst going completely dry seems rather extreme, a month without alcohol might be good for me.
Not sure I can make an entire month, so won’t be doing this for charity or making a big public statement, just quietly avoiding booze. Let’s see how this pans out..
Monday 1 October
One of those days where everything seems to require running to stand still. My work as a Project Manager tends to be erratic - I am usually either pretty idle between project events, or rushed off my feet to resolve a sudden onslaught of problems. Today was definitely the latter. Combined with a bunch of admin resulting from weekend activities that I struggled to find time to deal with; I just managed to get to Guides on time to collect my daughter, and finally home, desperately craving a glass of wine. Once there, some argument within the family had resulted in a distinct atmosphere, which I’d normally hide from in my study with a glass of whisky, but felt that Day One was a bit early to give up giving up. After my mediation efforts were shown to be unwelcome, I retired to bed early with a good book.
Tuesday 2 October
Get a text mid-morning from a good friend who I originally met through ante-natal classes for our (now) 16 year old children. He’s in London unexpectedly today, fancy meeting for a drink around Kings Cross about 5 or 6pm. It’s convenient, and tempting. I cancelled our last drink at the last minute after failing to notice that the date was my son’s birthday. But my will power is stronger in the morning, and Kings Cross isn’t so handy, so I refuse.
But then a Mid afternoon Whatsapp from another friend suggesting a drink during the week, 4 of us. We need to get together anyway to sort a few bits out, and they are good company, so definitely up for it, but how to do this without actually drinking. Maybe I’ll have fallen off the wagon by the end of the week anyway, but then it turns out that tonight is the only evening we can all manage it. Maybe I should pretend to be on antibiotics.
As it happens, I am first there, so order myself a glass of sparkling water. We’re in the Jolly Sailor,, it’s been my local for 18 years so feels odd to both me and the bar staff. However it does mean that I don’t need to explain it to everyone else as they come in, and by the time the second round comes, I get a bit of a curious look, and explain I’m just trying to cut down a bit, and by the third glass the others seem to accept it. However the conversation seems to swing from amusing banter to awkward disagreements. I’m normally very chilled, but getting increasingly tetchy by turns, and can’t help thinking that a couple of beers would have kept us all more genial. Get home about 12.30, put the kettle on and spot the whisky bottle again, luring me in. I switch off the kettle and the light and go to bed.
Wednesday 3 October
Finishing off work, nothing really planned for the evening, one of my colleagues tells us he is going to Watling for a quick drink if anyone would like to join him. Now I love the Watling. I worked across the road from it for 4years, and became regular enough to know most of the bar staff by name. The wide range of beer is impeccably kept. The bar service is swift, friendly and efficient. Although predominantly men in suits, there are men in other clothes and the occasional lady. There is space to stand in the cobbled streets outside, and it’s looking like a lovely warm evening. It’s on my way home, so a quick one isn’t a radical diversion from my new healthy lifestyle..
I fight it and go home. The frosty atmosphere of the previous evenings appears to be subsiding, so we watch football on TV together, then The Apprentice. It was pleasant, I was glad I’d left the Watling for a new generation to discover it.
Thursday 4th October
Thursday is usually my big drinking night. In my city circles it always has been, leaving Friday clear to get home for the weekend. It’s something I normally look forward to from arriving at work on Monday morning. However, this week it’s not to be. As it happens, I have an alternative plan, one incompatible with drink, which is partly why I felt this might be a good week to start my new resolution. This evening I will tour a local girls school with my daughter, as part of the charade of an intelligent and informed free choice of appropriate education for one’s offspring. We grab a Chinese takeaway on the way home, a tin of lager would have gone with it nicely, but water will do tonight.
Friday 5th October
I meet an old university friend for lunch in the staff canteen. This is a regular Friday arrangement, we co-incidentally work in the same building but for different companies at the moment, so it’s a refreshing non work catch up. There’s also no booze on offer. I return to my desk, and the team next to mine are heading out to the Vintry for a quick drink would I care to join them. I’ve not got any critical meetings this afternoon, and it’s still unusually warm out, so perhaps one quick half in the courtyard might be nice? But no, lunchtime drinking is a bit of a bugbear when we’re supposed to be paid to be competent, so joining them is both hypocritical and failing my new resolution. I stay at my desk and get finished off. The same group invite me for an end of day swifty later, but they’re already boisterous and I’m not in the mood. Besides, one of the kids is in trouble at school, so shirking that wouldn’t help the situation at all.
I go out for a stroll with my wife instead while one of the kids is swimming. Normally we’d stroll around the park by the swimming pool, but it’s dark and unlit, so we stroll up towards town, taking a detour along one of the old coaching roads into the city centre. There’s a lovely cluster of old pubs along here, really traditional inns serving great beer. Discount for Camra members (which I’m not, but you get the idea). My wife has never been along here in all the years we’ve lived there, and is fascinated. We bump into a friend going for a drink in the White Lion, we chat for a bit, but manage to excuse ourselves and head back to the swimming pool. Another day done.
Saturday 6th October
Oddly enough, I don’t usually drink at weekends. The day is always busy ferrying the kids around, and we tend to spend evenings in rather than going out on the busiest night of the week. My wife doesn’t drink much at all, so we don’t tend to go out “for a drink”. I have in the past attempted dry Februaries as they are the shorter months, but never got beyond the first week. Discussing this with a friend (over a drink) a few months earlier, he’d suggested a better way to cut down is to go dry for one week each month. Perhaps I’ve done enough already?
I’m kind of aware of it being more than a week without a drink, and also I’m not sleeping too well - maybe because of missing it. I can feel a cold coming on as well, one which a quick glug of that whisky will shove away. But I decide to go for lemon tea instead.
Sunday 7th October
A busy morning of ferrying children around Sports fields in North London, followed by a splendid roast beef dinner around 3pm. A roast dinner that would be nice accompanied by a glass or two of red wine. There’s quite a bit on the wine rack, some nice stuff too, but I don’t want a whole bottle, and it won’t be so good over a few days. The bottles remain in place.
Monday 8th October
You may remember that last week I just made it to Guides on time to collect the girl. Over the summer when work was reasonably quiet and the evenings were warm and bright, I got into an unhealthy habit of stopping in the pub between the station and Guides for a quiet pint on my own. I’d sit and sip quietly for half an hour or so, contemplating the world at peace, then hop back onto my bicycle to collect her. Although dark, it’s oddly warm tonight, and I’m not massively busy, and I kind of miss the experience. Having said that, my pile of non-urgent things to do is growing longer, there is actually plenty for me to do in the office before I go. I look through my list, select a job that requires an hours concentration, and do that instead.
Tuesday 9 October
Bumped into an old colleague today who I hadn’t seen for a while, and we got chatting about getting the guys together for a few drinks. There’s a private rooftop bar nearby that we have access to, and I agree to organise a drink there for the group. Trouble is, rooftop bars are nice when it’s warm, and that really means this week. Can I just prevaricate?
Get home early after a meeting away from the office finishes early. Early doors on Tuesdays are nice because most of the family are out doing something energetic. I can open a bottle of red and listen to my music loudly without criticism. As Prince and the Revolution boom through the walls, I reach for the wine rack before correcting myself. I sit down at my desk to catch up on various bits of personal admin, and suddenly feel very down. The mild sense of achievement from the first week is now replaced with a general feeling of misery.
Wednesday 10 October
Have a 4pm meeting, couple of the attendees suggest relocating to The Listing, a pub close to the office. Tempting, but not on, there’s a fair bit to discuss and it requires concentration. However my wife texts after a bit of a row with one of the kids suggesting we go out. Trouble is we won’t get out until about 9.30, a bit late for dinner or cinema, so it’s looking like a drink. Not sure whether to tell her I’m trying to avoid drinking for fear of ridicule, but equally the urge to drink isn’t massively strong. However, we will be back in the Jolly Sailor, and it will be the second time I’ve gone there to drink water. I’ll get myself barred.
In the event neither of us are really up for a evening out once all the kid-ferrying is complete, so we sit down to watch “The Apprentice” as a family again. No-one really watches it, but it’s a fun evening with phones and iPads put away yelling generalisations at the TV.
Thursday 11 October
I know I have to be in school for a relatively serious meeting at 7.30 tomorrow morning, so my usual big Thursday night isn’t really an option if I’m intending to project an image of responsible parenting. Instead, the Alban Arena, our local theatre, has a film night this evening, they pull a screen down to play Mary Shelley. I remember reading Frankenstein’s Monster years ago, and think this might be fun. We’ve also never watched a film there - after all - it’s not a cinema so the sound, etc probably isn’t phenomenal. The pair of us make up just under a quarter of the audience, but the film is quite good, and it’s a pleasant evening for a walk into town. On the way back the wife notes that I didn’t suggest nipping into the Jolly Sailor for a quick stop, but I remind her about the 7.30 meeting and she doesn’t think anything of it (I don’t think). I’ll tell her if I get to the end of the month, but that’s still a long way off and the wine rack still looks awfully tempting.
Friday 12 October
Friday closes with various colleagues suggesting a quick drink after work. Definitely just the one, be good to have a quick chat, etc. Got a really busy spell coming up, so a pleasant drink this evening would be nice... but I head home for a stroll across the park to Waitrose with my wife while my daughter swims - we have torches this week. There’s some rather nice looking Chianti on the reduced rack at Waitrose, my wife asks if I want a bottle, but I say we have plenty spare. We have if I keep this up - otherwise we are down to about a 2 week supply.
Saturday / Sunday 13 / 14 October
Weekends are so similar. It’s a wet morning, but once the rain clears, my daughter and I head into town for a shop. I’m not a great shopper, so like to finish the session in a city centre pub garden with a cool beer for me and a orange juice with lemonade for her. But it’s a bit cooler today, we spend twice the usual drinks find on an espresso and a freshly squeezed lemonade in a cafe. Sunday is a seriously rainy day, and I catch up on household jobs that have been neglected for a while. Surely that deserves a drink, but I note that tomorrow I will be half way through the month.
Monday 15 October
I also notice that this is getting easier. The original “one day at a time” approach is giving way to the occasional couple of consecutive days where the opportunity and temptation don’t really present themselves so forcefully. I again contemplate the quiet pint on the way to Guides pickup, but then think it’s a bit of a sad lonely old man thing to do. I go home, get changed, then do the pickup. I contemplate rewarding myself with a drink, thinking it will also fight the cold I can feel coming on, but definitely half way now and looking forward to the end.
Tuesday 16 October
Why did I think this was getting easier? One of the kids is in trouble at school again, which always makes me want to drink once I’ve finished having a serious word and they are in bed. I also notice that I probably have work drinks on 26th, so I’m not going to make it to the end of the month anyway. Seriously wavering this evening.
Wednesday 17 October
Well - didn’t turn to the bottle last night. But the problem hasn’t gone away, in fact it’s slightly bigger. One of my fellow consultants comes round to my desk towards the end of the day, one of the ones that I’d deliberately failed to organise a drink with last week. I help him out with a bit of a client problem, and he suggests a quick pint in Jamie’s. Really tempted. He’s good company, and I’m thirsty, but say no. It’s avoiding home problems really, although I’ll feel the urge for a drink after that.
Later on, harsh words exchanged, but afterwards we peacefully watch The Apprentice as a family again. This isn’t a bad Wednesday night routine.
Thursday 18 October
We’ve got tickets to see “Crazy Rich Asians” at the flicks tonight. It looks rubbish, but probably fun escapist trash. The cinema has a jolly nice bar, but I don’t normally use it anyway so we should be safe. And depending on which way we walk home, we can probably avoid the lure of some of our finer local pubs. Let’s see how we go..
We go in, and the bar is buzzing. I try to walk through quickly - one of my Grandma’s timeless pieces of advice was to always run past a public house to avoid getting tempted to go in. As we go in, we see a bunch of my wife’s friends laden down with Prosecco bottles and glasses, they offer us some, but Prosecco definitely isn’t to my taste. But once in our seats, there’s a lovely rich smell of red wine and cheese wafting somewhere, and I struggle with not returning to the bar to get my own portion.
The movie is as daft as one might expect, but entertaining, and feeling cheery afterwards we head out for a curry. Then I have an abrupt thought that a curry without beer is going to be nigh on impossible, so we switch to an Italian instead. This is a minor disaster as my wife finds a lump of hard plastic in her pasta, but at least I don’t drink. This was a tough day to avoid it though.
Friday 19 October
Toughest day so far. I meet a couple of friends for a drink in The Lamb in Leadenhall market after a tiresome day at work. Its a lovely warm evening and the market is crowded with outdoor drinkers and the pleasant aroma of ale.
The bar is well managed and serves quickly, a fine selection of ales and I see a portion of delicious Scotch Eggs being served up while I wait. I order a glass of sparkling water, before spotting my friends and wandering over. The main topic of conversation seems to be my strange choice to not drink which is slightly irritating, and they seem to want to spike my second drink (but fortunately don’t). But I’m a bit bored of resisting it, so head home after the second glass. Could really do with a glass of wine when I get home.. but don’t. However I’m seriously doubting that I can keep going another 2 weeks.
Saturday 20 October
I did the park run today. I quite often do, but normally to clear a hangover and start the weekend a bit fresher. I missed it last week with a bit of a painful foot, so this is my first run since this experiment began. It’s a beautiful cool, sunny Autumn morning, dew in the grass, colourful leaves falling - you get the idea. Everyone else thinks the same, so it’s crowded. Amazingly, I break my personal record for the year by quite a margin, and what’s more, I sprinted at the end as I still seemed to have energy left. Maybe the lack of booze is making me healthier in more ways than I expected. Perhaps I should try to keep going a bit. The rest of the day is taken up with family duties finishing with a swimming gala which avoids the booze successfully. I even hope I don’t win any wine in the raffle.
Sunday 21 October
Sunday goes well too, until we are walking back from the shops and get stopped by a couple of friends sitting in the sunshine outside The Beech House, a large lovely pub that opens onto the market place. Oddly enough, my daughter had just been saying she was thirsty, and our friends invite us to join them, adding that a couple of other friends are coming up in a few minutes. I can see my wife on the brink of pulling up a chair. I’ve already uncharacteristically drunk water with these people recently, it will be very hard to stay and not drink. So I use my daughter as an excuse and head home.
Monday 22 October
A long day at the office without a break, then did a bit more work when I got home. Finished a little before midnight, and figured I needed something to drink to get myself to sleep sharpish rather than thinking about work. Went up to read instead, but too tired to focus on the letters and give up. Fall asleep feeling virtuous about not touching the whisky.
Tuesday 23 October
Another long day, but not working at home tonight. Sit down with Mrs H for dinner at 9, a bottle of wine would top it off nicely. But it’s not happening as I’ll then either drink a bit every day, or neck the whole bottle, both of which would defeat my purpose. Thinking about how to avoid drinking on Friday night. I might tell my colleagues about this now that the end is in sight. With leavjng drinks on 1 Nov and post-wedding drinks on 2 Nov, the plan to resume drinking at the end of next week is shaping up nicely, although I wonder if it’ll really appeal after a month of abstinence.
Wednesday 24 October
I had a chat with my boss about whether to take the team out for a drink once we’ve finished on Friday night, and confess that I’m not drinking. Turns out he isn’t either - he’s stopped for periods of time before, and says the secret is alcohol-free beer. Other than Becks, most alcohol-free lager is fine. Spanish alcohol-free lager in particular is jolly good apparently, making up 20% of beer sales in Spain. Its not happening tonight, I leave work on time tonight for parents evening at school, followed by dinner out for Mrs H and me. We went to “Little Marrakech”, a favourite Moroccan themed restaurant, with an excellently well priced set menu that includes a bottle of wine. Thing is, I need to work when I get home, and Mrs H won’t drink much which will leave me drinking most of the bottle. So I order a big bottle of sparkling water. I’m still rather surprised she hasn’t noticed that I haven’t drunk alcohol for 26 days, and I have to say slightly disappointed.
Thursday 25 October
Really too busy this week to think about drinking much, and recognising that if we do go out tomorrow night, it will be brief. However it will also be a good time to order a glass of water and crow my success in not drinking for (by then) 4 weeks. Thursday night remains a night when I still would rather go out for a drink, but having gone this long, I can keep it up a few more days.
Friday 26 October
In the event, I don’t leave work until after 11pm, so miss the excitement of The Listing. As I cycle to the station, the worst of London’s drunks are on display. Men pissing in shop doorways, girls falling off their stillettoes, one fellow so drunk that his companions have to support him as he can’t even stand. Plenty of people are leaving Halloween parties in high spirits (boom boom) but frankly in a mess. The train is full of drunks, I find myself rising above it all.
Saturday 27 October
I do the park run again, confident of beating my previous week’s record, but narrowly fail. However its still a pleasurable run. I feel a bit of a drip for having been such a killjoy the previous evening, people were only having fun and actually I wish I was too. I confess to a couple of friends that I haven’t drunk all month, and they mention another mutual chum, a regular heavy drinker, who is doing a very public sober October. He hasn’t had a month without beer since the age of about 16, and is finding it hard. I am too, he’s a nice guy, but I know him mainly through drink and he’s a good drinking buddy. I know I’m missing the drink - I like the healthy feeling but I like the social side of drinking much more.
Sunday 28 October
Another busy day of ferrying children around. Quite behind on personal admin after a busy week of work, so find myself tapping this at bedtime with another day of no drink. I also notice that my last drink was one month ago, September 28th, so I have managed the month. Shall I quickly sneak a glass of red? No - Thursday 1 Nov is my first drink.
Monday 29 October
Kids are on half term this week, oddly a week later than the rest of the country. My wife and daughter come into town to meet me for lunch, which is lovely, but unfortunately puts me rather behind so I end up finishing late again. Still with 2 days to go, I’m pretty sure I’m going to make it now.
Tuesday 30 October
The eldest son is home alone while the others go off on a little trip, he’s supposed to be studying for mock GCSE’s. I think it might be prudent to leave work a bit early and spend a bit of time with him, so we work together through part of the evening - I suspect this is the first work he’s done all day. He cooks dinner, which we eat without drinking, we watch some rubbish on TV, and sleep. One more day.
Wednesday 31 October
A very busy day, hassled all day and no time to think or prioritise. I come home with a lot unfinished, and work well into the evening to get on top of the hundreds of emails received through the day. As I log off, I notice that it’s 11.58, I am 2 minutes from November...
In fact I last another 16 hours before finally getting out for a drink in The Listing.
I made it. It’s over.
